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This blog, as the name suggests grew inside me and now is close to my heart, hands, feet, face, back, hair, brains… whatever else my kids can tug at physically or otherwise.
#BeingMommy is Unique
Dictionary has many meanings for the word UNIQUE…. ‘Unrivalled’ being the closest in this case… as #BeingDaddy cannot even get close. My take on UNIQUE – Exclusive to every mother that ever existed and directly proportional to the number of offspring she brought into this world…
In my case, only 2, numerically, but equal and more than infinite….by virtue.
So here goes…
When I was a little girl , say about 8 years old, like my elder brat…. I Used to adore little kids and think I would open a day care centre once I grew up….. so that i would not have to give those kids back to their mommies….
Ek woh din and ek aaj ka din….
I keep looking for some kind soul who would keep my little darlings (some marketing needed here) occupied for a little while… Ma, Pa, Spouse, MIL, Bai, Chota Bheem, Doreamon, CID (desperate measures)… just anyone… pleeeeease….
The grown up girl in me often looks up at the sky and says….”Excuse me, this is not what I signed up for…..” and the spouse quips in at that very appropriate moment…”kya khaake paida kiya yaar” and simultaneously ducks a flying cushion.
Growing up with the elder one (I say growing up … as I grew up with each passing day) …. had its own bitter sweet moments of #Beingmommy
– Being a hardcore Bhai fan at the age of 3 to an extent that even the hairdresser had to oblige and look for TV channels playing his songs….. all efforts made to get a decent haircut done. (We are all over and out of the bhai phase now)
– Being a Ranbir Kapoor fan and yelling amidst a packed cinema hall….Arre gir jayega….on finding RK perched on the edge of a cliff… the ugly stares of the people around was faced by yours truly.
– #BeingMommy became an emotion, a journey, a stand up comedy act…. after the birth of my little one…. half her sister’s age but more than 1.5 times in all other virtues….
The Bewildered Mom…
– The kid reading stuff she should not be grocery bills, bills of hidden gifts…. putting us in a awkward spot… when we think we have smartly hidden stuff which they don’t need to see ….
– Try telling her that malai in the milk should not be spit out…. even Krishna liked Malai…. Pat comes the reply ” Krishna makhan khaata tha, teacher ne bola”
– Explaining to the elder one that February 14th ain’t no festival to declare a holiday.
The Emotional Mom:
There have times where innocence has over ridden their over smartness…
– Times like E for Election and M for Modi when she was learning her alphabets….. or the Thank you to Modi Uncle when sudden holidays were declared for elections…
– More recently, the chants of ” Blue Jeetega” for any cricket match played on the telly, initially coined for the MI team and later spilling over to our National squad and also our padosi Sri Lanka at times.
– When the younger one decided to give her dad a newspaper for his birthday on being told that we give someone whatever they like on their birthday…
– When the elder one tries to convince people at home that they actually like wht she likes…. her choice of restaurant, tv show, food or even gifts for their bday which might be beneficial for her later ( Disney merchandise for that matter…)
The Proud Mom:
… when their negotiation skills take over.
and someone like me who has spent a decade negotiating with customers starts wondering….. arre mera toughest client isse better tha yaar…
…when they are confident and true on whatever they do.
The Exasperated Mom:
The pride turns into despair…. when sometimes no diversion or distraction tactic works…. against a tantrum or a demand .
They often turn into F1 racers…. taking turns driving me crazy….
The Amplifier Mom:
Selective hearing champs they are…….if ever there was a competition, they would win hands down….
Sometimes my husband can hear my voice all the way up to his office in Pune…. and the kid sitting next to me is blissfully engrossed in her own world….
The Google Amma:
“Amma why don’t you google the name of this Disney princess’s name if you don’t know it”…. This was the elder one 4 years back.
The situation today……Google is my one and only…for All kinds of trivia, kid friendly restaurants, “How to” videos, fancy dress ideas, worksheets …. anything under the sun which the daughters might throw as a googly on me…
The Referee Mom:
Read somewhere… One makes you a mom… two a Referee…. and woh bhi WWE types…. most times I end up wondering…” How do i choose between Rajma and Maggi? ( Those who know me well, will understand this…. for the uninitiated…. I cannot survive without these two)
The Vacation planner:
Planning a trip with these two can hardly ever be impromptu….10 days to stress about it and another 2 to actually put together the stuff and pack.
The spouse and MIL often smirk at the things i carry… only when these are put to use on a long roadtrip or at the place we are staying and world peace is maintained…the husband realizes ” Haan yaar, i did not think of that”
And i say ” Vacation after all …for a MOM….is waking up early in a new place.”
Sometimes I end up explaining to the exasperated Daddy who is more of a weekend dad…. ” Divide and rule”…. works best on most occasions …. or else…. if 1 and 1.5 get together…. we have scenes straight out of Tom&Jerry happening at our place….Tom (me) and Jerry and his cousin (1 & 1.5)…
At times , I TRY to hide and write or talk/chat to people after having ensured that Divide and rule is applied and these two are occupied…
But Alas, this is the story of my life ” If i ever go missing, follow my kids, they can find me no matter where i hide, even in the dark….”
Tomorrow is yet another day, a Monday to be precise…. Monday Morning bliss for me… I smile at the teachers in the bus and think in my mind….
” Humari pareshani aapke sar”…. the teacher smiles back….I am sure she must be thinking….” Thodi der ki baat hai…”
PS: Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child but what you have gained by having one…