Having another child is a question that puts many parents in a whirlpool of dilemma. Experts say the best time is either when your first is under one year or over four years. Children below one don’t seek exclusivity yet so they’re less likely to resent a newcomer, and those over four have had all the attention from parents and are pretty independent now.
Researchers also say that conceiving another baby within three years of the first baby can raise the chances of autism in the child. The probability decreases after the first year but remains still. However if you have waited five years or more to have another child, the chances of a pre-term and small baby are high. There isn’t any concrete understanding of the reasons but researchers have some ideas. That’s the scientific take on when to have another baby. The more important question is do you want to have another baby?
Here are a few factors you can consider to help you decide:
- Lifestyle: Are you feeling like your earlier self? Your kid(s) have settled into a nice routine? You and your spouse have time for some romance? Do you have a fabulous nanny or a childcare system? Are you back to pursuing work or a passion? Adding another child to the equation adds more giggles and company but also a lot of stress and effort. This stress affects not just you but also your relationship with your spouse and other children. Are you ready to disrupt your existing lifestyle?
- It’s all about the money: Money sure isn’t everything but you need it, lots of it to raise a child. So check your savings Do you have spare? If you do have another child, can you afford to switch to part time or become a stay at home mom?
- The clock is ticking: It’s annoying but true. Have your babies before your biological clock takes away the option. If you are 30 and have no health issues, you can be flexible. But if you are nearing 40, you frankly don’t have much time. Additionally, you may have an image of how old you’d like to be when you have your children.
- You say yes, he says no? It is common for partners to disagree on children. It helps to discuss your differences and views, and perhaps find a solution. You can speak with other people for better perspective.
- Listen to your heart: Finally it comes down to how you feel. Some mothers may not want to subject their bodies to another childbearing and child rearing experience (and let’s just agree it’s not a selfish thought). Your child is only as happy as you are. Children are not items to be hoarded, they are human beings who need a lot of love and attention. If you have an iota of doubt on your feelings on another child, forget about it. If, however, you can’t imagine life without another, go for it. Of course you still got to plan a little.
Lot of parents have another child to give their first child company. A sibling does provide an opportunity to acquire skills such as empathy, emotional regulation and problem solving. However, research says, unlike parent’s expectations, a sibling doesn’t necessarily guarantee a well-adjusted adult. A single child can be as socially and emotionally adept as a child with siblings. In fact, a single child has an advantage of better resources and education.
Both the scenarios have their pros and cons. Ultimately, it depends on what you want and what you can handle. There’s nothing right or wrong about it.
