Ending a relationship and separating from a partner is one of the most challenging decisions one has to take. And after the separation comes the shoulder-bending responsibility of raising the child all by oneself. Many mothers who part ways with their partners suddenly find themselves all alone in the world. Their minds are full of haunting questions that they don’t seem to get answers for. Their situation seems like a jigsaw puzzle with no way out.
But what they need to understand is that this is not the end of the road. In fact, this is the beginning of a new journey. The journey that will be accompanied by their children and be full of joy and happiness. All they need is the right mental attitude and knowledge that will help them make the most of this situation. Here are seven of those points that every single mother needs to take care of while taking care of her child.
- Build a support community: Raising a child alone is a herculean task. That’s why all single parents need to create a supportive community around them. This community will include other parents, single and couples. They can help you in taking care of your child when you are not around or simply give you the right advice to deal with a specific situation. Meet them often and take your child with you. So she / he can also mingle around with their children and get social.
Ask for help: Once you become a single parent, the first thing in your mind to raise your child well should be to get help from your family members and close friends. Some mothers shy away from asking for help thinking that raising their child is completely their job. But what they need to understand is that getting help is a very natural part of the whole process. Family members can look after your child when you are not home or can simply help out with her / his homework. Depending upon your schedule, you can ask others for their assistance in day-to-day things.
Get a grip over finances: Now that you are a single parent, your income will be much lesser than what it used to be. Raising a child on one income or ex-spouse’s support is difficult. Which makes it very important to prepare a tightly-knit budget and sticking to it. Learn to deny the unnecessary demands of expensive toys and other things. Also, think about long-term investments to help you when your child is ready for college. If possible, think about a second earning option, like home tutoring.- Stick to a daily routine: Striking the right balance between raising your child and managing your everyday things, including your job, is very important. That’s why everything should be timely managed. Prepare a schedule for meals, house chores, bedtime and other daily things. Sticking to a schedule will help your child manage her / his life and time better as she / he will know what to expect and do. The more consistent your daily routine is, the more organised your life will become.
- Be honest: The absence of one parent will always raise questions in your child’s mind. The best way to deal with her / his questions is to be completely honest. Remember that with you, her / his life has also changed and she/he will also face many difficulties to adjust to it. So answer your child’s questions in a friendly and open way. Your answers will help her/him to deal with her / his situation better.
- Care for yourself: Since you are the only parent taking care of your child at a particular time, it’s vital to be very careful about yourself. Try to stay as positive as you can. Do what you love to do the most – read, cook, dance, talk to friends, and watch your favorite movies. Set aside some time for your personal well-being and get into relaxation mode. The healthier you are, physically and mentally, the better you can focus on your child.
Spend as much time together: No matter how busy you are juggling your job and house chores, always set some time aside to spend it with your child. Your child is already missing one parent from her / his life and your absence will only make things worse. Try to make the most of your personal moments – play, read, sing, listen to music, or simply enjoy an evening stroll. The time spent together will make your bond stronger and more special.
Raising a child all alone is not easy. But a strong will and dedication can make things easier for you. Remember that this ride will be bumpy in the beginning, but the road will get smoother as you tread further. Maintaining a positive attitude is a must. Because your stress and negative emotions can affect your child as well. So stay positive and focused all the time.
