7 things never to say to your child

Parenting is a very difficult task and every parent knows that. It requires a lot of efforts day in and day out. Falling prey to frustration is something that happens often to all the parents. As a result, they end up doing things that they are not supposed to do as far as their children are concerned. Especially things never to say to your children, hurting them or probably scarring them for life. Here are seven common mistakes that parents make while dealing with their children.

Why can’t you be like him?

Comparison is the worst thing you could do to your child. Statements like ‘he is much better than you’ and ‘why can’t you try to be like your brother’ hurt a child more than you can ever imagine. Every child has his own identity and wants to be different. Comparing his actions to others will only demotivate him and he would start seeing himself as someone else’s shadow.

Let your dad come home

Sometimes children make mistakes and behave in certain manners which you are not able to handle all by yourself. Then the only thing you can rely on is their fear. Telling him ‘I will tell your dad when he gets home’ may stop him for a while, but also brings your ability in the open. Moreover, if his dad is a very strict man and scolds him upon your behest, your child will always live with a sense of fear when he is around.

Don’t cry

Children need to cry, period. They are much softer from inside compared to adults and anything as small as a broken toy can start the tear fall. When you see your child cry, it is always better to cuddle and console him, than asking to stop crying point-blank. Put yourself in his shoes and you will understand what he must be going through at that particular moment.

You are a loser

The last thing a child wants to hear from his parents is that he is a loser. Children take their time to accomplish things and they might not be perfect at it. They learn with time and continuous efforts. Judging them too soon can hamper their motivation and they might lose trust in themselves forever.

Don’t disturb me

Being a parent and managing a home is never an easy task. We understand that there are so many things on your daily register that you need to check in a limited window of time. Doing it at the cost of ignoring your child is not recommendable. Your child depends upon you for almost everything he does, so turning him down will end up making him feel unimportant in your life.

I don’t care

Children live in their own world and have their own set of problems. When they bring it up to you, telling them that you don’t care for it does not go down well with them. It can really break their heart considering that they don’t have anyone else to take it up to. A little interest from you in their small or made-up troubles is all they require from you.

Great job

Though every child will be delighted to hear ‘great job’ from his parents, it’s not always as good as it sounds. A big rewarding statement should be reserved for real big efforts. Rewarding a child with ‘great job’ every now and then will only increase his expectation to hear it every time he accomplishes something, no matter how menial or irrelevant. While it is important to appreciate his efforts, choosing the right words is equally important and can make a big difference.

Being careful in dealing with your child can not only lead to a great relationship but also produce very optimistic results. Observe what your child requires from you and just be there to help him out. Remember that you are your child’s first hope and they expect too much from you. And it does not take much to live up to their expectations once you know how to deal with them.

Suggested reading: 9 dos and don’ts when your child challenges your decision and Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child | Psychology Today and PinkBook: The future of the NHS paper red book