It’s 3 pm, your baby is fed and changed and you look over to your equally sleep-deprived partner and realise when was the last time we had a date night?
Welcome to parenthood!
We asked around our Nurturey community and here are 9 reasons why date night needs to be on your radar:
1) You need to remember what being YOU feels like
Being a parent is one of the best feelings in the world not every conversation needs to revolve around diapers and feeding schedules. It may sound like blasphemy but one of the rules of date night is the conversation needs to be about you and your interests.
Things to talk about: If you had a superpower, what would it be?
Things on the no-no list: Your baby, bills, chores – everything that’s not exclusively about the two of you.
2. Dressing up makes you feel like you have control
When you’re a new mom or dad, sweats are your best friend. Comfortable clothing that will survive when it’s puked on or pooped on is high on your priority list. But for date night, make that effort. Even if date night is just a walk around the block, find the shirt that brings out your eyes. Cause even if the world is spinning a little too fast, at that moment, you look AND feel good.
And moms, make sure you get something sexy and gorgeous for your post-pregnancy body. You deserve to feel good at every stage of this journey.
3. Talk to other parents, but trust your own gut
Talking to other new parents is a great way to figure out what you want. But that’s what it is – figuring it out. Every couple has their own speed –
You want to step out in the first week? Good for you!
You want to wait until your baby is a month old? Let’s do that.
You want to wait it out till your child is a teenager and doesn’t want to hang out with you? *slams door instead of answering*
Do what feels authentic to you. Check out these ideas for date night to see if anything feels like something you two would be up for.
4. Let go of the guilt
As parents, especially moms, breathing and feeling guilty go hand in hand. It stops parents from having fun, which shouldn’t be the case. Embracing the side of you that wants to have a vacation with just your partner or doing the old “pump-and-dump” after having a glass too many isn’t selfish; it’s human. In fact, getting the time out for yourself makes you appreciate the time with your baby even more.
5. You need to spend quality time with your partner
Most new parents are overjoyed but exhausted. So when it’s time to choose between napping a couple of extra hours or getting your date night on, the latter gets the boot. But it’s all the more important to carve out time with your partner. You were a couple before you had a child and you need to be a couple after that, not just the parents. We understand how that may seem impossible which brings us to point no 6…
6. Date night is what you want it to be
Ideally, it would be great if you got to leave the house and go to your favourite restaurant or check out the latest movie. But chances are you may not make it out of the house. But that doesn’t mean you skip on date night.
Get an indoor tent for a romantic meal or put candles in your room and listen to your favourite songs, while snuggling in bed. These are all legitimate date nights that give you that couple-time you both need.
7. You want to feel, and make your partner feel, desired
A recent study concluded that women have lower self-esteem after having kids. While there are many factors that contribute to it, moms adjusting to the new hormones and new body plays a major role. While dads may not go through the physical changes, they’re experiencing a pretty big emotional and life change. Date nights are a great way to remind your partner that they are desired and wanted.
8. It helps you understand each other as parents
As new parents, you feel a lot of pressure to be “perfect”. This pressure, understandably so, can create friction with your partner, since every parenting style is different. I know we suggested earlier that there should be no baby talk, but every rule has exceptions. Date nights could be a way for you to connect as parents, understanding each other’s perspective.
9. No date night, no problem!
Okay, now you’re probably thinking “What the f-?” but hear me out: if planning and executing date night is stressing you out, then don’t do it. Reconnecting with each other is the bigger fish to fry. If sending memes to each other while you’re wrestling with the breast pump machine as your partner does the 987th load of laundry makes you both chuckle and feel glow-y, do that.
End of the day, you do you as a couple but make sure you’re checking in with each other periodically. Before you were parents, you were two people who liked spending time with each other, just cause. There’s no reason that needs to change.
